Why I Don't Watch Porn

Olivia and I had a conversation with a friend a while back, and we got to talking about movies. I mentioned that I'm pretty careful in choosing movies to watch (which is generally true), that I didn't watch horror movies, or films with too much swearing, or too much sex.

In that conversation, the friend was mildly surprised that a bloke would try to stay away from "racy" movies. I didn't give a reason why I thought how I did. In other conversations, with different people, I've been told that sex in movies - could this be classified as "soft porn" (not quite sure about the definition for this) - is not harmful and in fact might be helpful.

I don't like horror movies; this is my personal preference. As for bad language in movies, I appreciate sometimes it is totally necessary. Other times, it is stupid and overdone, perhaps to give the appearance of toughness or "real life". Once again, my preference is to stay away from that kind of stuff. It doesn't do anything for me.

Sex in movies - it's enough for me to know that two people had sex. I'm old enough to appreciate that this happens quite often between two consenting adults. I don't need to see it in explicit detail. Some movies handle intimate moments really well. Other movies take the opportunity to show female flesh - Olivia and I fast forward through these bits.

The prime reason for me is that I want to love Olivia, and only Olivia, more and more. I don't have room for any other females in a sexual way. The amount of time and energy I've got for my wife is eroded when I think about other women in that way - it's a lose/lose situation as far as I can tell.

This has been on my mind for a while. I wish I'd had a good answer for our friend when they asked. This answer was sitting there, I just didn't say it. And it explains why I don't watch porn (the heading for this post).

All this is my personal view, of course. I'm not in any position to preach about this kind of stuff :-)

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[Listening to: Miss Misery (Piano version) - Elliott Smith - B-Sides, Rarities & Other Songs (02:58)]

Living at Home, Adult Teenagers, and Finally Growing Up

Michelle posts about a new trend where "...cash-strapped people in their 30s move back in with their parents..."

I have to say that this thought has never crossed my mind, even given we're trying to save for a house. Historically, I was out of home at a pretty early age. I know the timing of eventually going it on your own was the subject of much discussion in my parent's house, probably as it was in any house with teenagers. I'm not ashamed to say one of them still lives with Mum and Dad - Mum and Dad have always been very generous and welcoming with their home.

It's not that my parents are nasty or unfriendly or anything else - indeed, they're almost the perfect parents :-) I reckon I value my own space a lot, and I see our little family - Olivia, TJ, Maya and lump - as being the people I want to hang with and get under the skin of. Renting, while expensive in some ways, is worth it for me.

But how will I be with the kids, when they grow up? Is it better to teach and model independence, to make a go of it by yourself, or "inter-dependence" where they're able to use the facilities while they're finding their feet? I love Michelle's quip:

It's mighty comfy living in your parent's house. Need a can opener? They've got one. Need a hammer? Got that too. Don't feel like cooking? Someone else will. Struggling with finances? Sponge off the parents for a month or two until you come right.

So why the dumb post title? I guess it's an amalgamation of all the conversations I've had about moving out on your own (which doesn't necessarily equate with growing up).

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[Listening to: Pitseleh - Elliott Smith - XO (03:23)]

Christian Basketball Association

From about age 17 to age 29, I played basketball in a Christian competition. I really enjoy basketball - I still would state that it's the only sport I can play - and I met a lot of good people through playing. I haven't visited the Christian comp in some time; Olivia and I started playing mixed netball around our pregnancies and gradually drifted away.

Through some friends I'm now playing back in the CBA again in a mixed comp, and the Association has a website - at Christian Basketball Association. Cool. I just wanted to do some advertising because I know how hard it is to get things like a web site off the ground in volunteer organisations, and to have the fixtures, ladders and other statistics right there on the web is a pretty good effort.

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[Listening to: Resolve - Foo Fighters - In Your Honor Disc 1 (04:49)]

When I was a Boy...

I grew up in a household with 3 younger brothers, and so I think in our TV watching and game playing we missed out on a lot of the more feminine side of life.

Surprisingly, I'm not too put out by this. I think we had 1 or 2 Lego females (affectionately referred to as "wives" for the Lego men - see my previous post for more on our adventures with Lego). Where us boys got to watch exciting, "boys own" stuff like Doctor Who, The A-Team, and WWF Championship Wrestling, we didn't have to endure Anne of Green Gables, Anne of Green Gables 2, or Little House on the Prairie.

Two things that I clearly remember growing up that had a big impact were the short-lived TV series "Automan" (Wikipedia link) and the Commodore 64 game "Impossible Mission" (link).

Automan was a TV series centered around a computer-generated crime solver who had a flashy black and neon-blue Lamborghini. I can't believe there were only 12 episodes ever made (and I can't believe that, according to the show write-ups here, they were so crappy), but it's true. I still had a lot of fun watching the shows back then.

Impossible Mission (no relation to "Mission: Impossible") was a computer game where you had to search an evil genius's fortress to find pieces to a code, in a set time limit. You didn't have a gun and could only run away from or jump over his zapping robots. I don't know how many joysticks me and my brothers went through getting the precision control needed to run and jump chasms and time it just right to end up on a lift at the end of a level :-)

The game had a famous opening line - "Another visitor...stay a while, stay forever!"

So I followed the links above while doing some nostalgi-surfing the other day, and after eagerly looking at pictures, reviews, notes, and stories, I think I learnt a lesson. Lesson learned: the stuff I thought was cool when I was a kid was pretty cool, but chances are high it is not that cool now.

Still, it was good fun revisiting the old stuff.

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I'be Got A Cod

Unbelievably, all of us in the Williams house seem to have a cold of some sort (and it's not even winter). I've been off work a couple of days, the kids have coughs or runny noses or both, and even Olivia has a bit of a runny nose and a slight cough.

We're all getting over the colds though. Perhaps it was the transition back from sunny Newcastle.

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[Listening to: Happiness (Acoustic) - Elliott Smith - 3 Titres Inedits Promo (03:30)]

Speeding...It's Against The Law

Last weekend we drove up to sunny Raymond Terrace, near Newcastle, New South Wales (hopefully I'll have some pics soon), and one thing Olivia raised was that we should try not to speed. That sounds pretty straightforward but when the trip is 13 or so hours, lots of it 110 KM/H legally, it's not as easy as it seems. And even though I think I was moderately successful, we haven't been back long enough to know whether we got booked or not :-)

The whole process of trying to obey Olivia's sensible guideline, then wondering why I had to, and eventually deciding that I had no choice on speeding - it's against the law, got me thinking about if there was no punishment (i.e. a speeding fine), I would probably drive faster than the speed limit. Why? I don't know!

In my experience, anytime in the past that I've been caught breaking the law, I have been upset *that I have been caught*. That's right, not upset because I disobeyed, but upset that I got caught!

Still working out how to teach the kids about obedience (still working out how to learn it for myself!)

On a side note, the trip itself was great, we stayed on highways nearly the whole way. And of course the destination was the highlight - it was great to see my bro Nathan, Nic and the kids and help celebrate Isaiah's birthday.

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Google Mars

First Google Maps, then Google Moon and now Google Mars...cool!

In case you haven't heard of Google Maps, it's satellite imagery and street directions cleverly blended (along with a lot more) to give interactive, zoomable maps in your browser. I would recommend using at least a broadband connection, though, because dial-up will choke under the load of the images.

Using Google Mars you can even find the famous "face" on Mars, by typing in "face on mars" and clicking "Search". It's supposedly a natural rock formation according to "science"...but, I'm betting it's a warning from Martians. Think about it.


Thanks for the heads-up Wilson!

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Dying Wish

Imagine if a person specified, as their dying wish, to *not* have a funeral; no fuss, no nothing, just their ashes scattered on their favorite patch of land or over the sea.

Imagine if the living spouse of this person or their kids decided they *did* want a funeral...would that be disrespectful? Would relatives who knew of the dying wish to not have a funeral have a right to be angered over the fact that there was a funeral?

Just an interesting conversation I heard going on.

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I Want It

Something's (really) worrying me. I am becoming a consumer. I feel like I've got to dump some thoughts I've been having.

I have noticed a strange trait growing where I want to own things, even if I don't really need them. The most vivid example is movies on DVD; I'll often salivate over the Blockbuster bargain bins or online at EzyDVD...but I own enough movies, and if I want to watch one, surely I can just go and hire it?

Or is it better to have? There's some movies that I do have (bought at a very good price, mind you) that I haven't even watched yet. Is that a good thing?

And the intense pleasure I feel at researching, looking and then buying something dissipates so quickly. Probably even quicker when it's an "impulse buy". It seems that then I've got to keep justifying my purchase to myself, without the option of admitting a wrong decision and taking the item back: "I didn't really want it" (have you ever tried to take a car back?)

And the focus on "newer is better" is impossible to escape, especially in my line of work (I.T.). Whether it's cars or computer I *know* that newer is not necessarily better...but it just feels better.


Here's two great quote that I noticed today over at signposts which prompted this post:

“Once all roads led to Rome. Now all shopping malls lead to emotional numbness.”

Karl Marx once said that religion was the opium of the masses...SHOPPING is the opiate of the masses.

Why are there so many shopping centres? Are we richer now? Are we spending more? Why does my heart feel so bad on this matter?


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